Positive Psychology inoculations for our physical health!

We all know that regular exercise, eating healthily, getting enough sleep and not smoking are important for our physical health. But is our health just physical?

Increasingly many of us relate to the link between mind and body. The World Health Organisation now acknowledges that health is not just the absence of illness, but is a state of physical, mental and social wellbeing.

What does the research say?

We have good psychological health when we regularly experience positive emotions, are satisfied with our lives, have good social support and feel optimistic about the future.

In studies, scientists have found people with good psychological health are better protected from the common cold, have stronger immune systems and their cardiovascular system recovers more quickly after stressful events. They have even found that people with good life satisfaction and an optimistic outlook actually live longer and die less of other illnesses throughout life.

Over the longer term what tends to happen is that being able to think and feel in more positive ways also helps us to behave in more positive ways (such as getting exercise, better nutrition and sleep).  Our positive behaviours can then become sustainable habits and lead to long term lifestyle change.

How can I get this vaccine?

The long and the short of it is that working on enjoying your life and relationships, and fostering an optimistic outlook will in the end make you mentally AND physically more healthy!

Here are some ideas for what you can do today to boost your overall health tomorrow:

• Grab a girlfriend and have a laugh
• Go to a meditation course – get hubby to babysit (Mindfulness also boosts your brain and immune function)
• Brainstorm some solutions for a problem you’ve been stuck on for a while
• Write down 3 good things that happen to you each day in a pretty journal (perhaps a Mothers Day gift from your kids?)
• Do a kind thing for someone else – look after someone’s child after school if their mum has a migraine.

Hopefully this blog helps you feel less guilty investing time in YOU, reminding yourself that by inoculating yourself to boost your mental health, you will also give your physical health a shot in the arm!

Best wishes from Flourishing Mothers

Adapted from the work of Nansook Park and Carmello Vazquez

Could someone in your mothers group be suffering from post-natal depression?

At Flourishing Mothers, our aim is to fortify mums with practical tips to help promote good mental health. Up to 19% of women suffer from Post Natal Depression (PND)*.  Statistically speaking, if you have 10 mums in your mothers group, then two of you could be silently suffering. An analysis of research from 12 studies and 485 women recently published** has summarised common feelings or behaviours reported by those with PND.

1.  “Crushed expectations”. We women are given so many messages about “ideal” motherhood. If we aren’t having a wonderful time or don’t think we are meeting these idealised expectations, then we can feel unhappy or experience a sense of failure.

2. “Going into hiding”.  If we feel doubt about our capacities, we might feel the need to maintain a façade to the outside world. Reluctant to share our feelings, we isolate ourselves physically or emotionally.

3.  “Loss of sense of self”. In the underestimated change that motherhood brings, we can grieve for our old selves, while being unsure or unhappy about who we are in the present.

4. “Intense vulnerability”. We can feel anxious and dependent on others, even to the point that day to day tasks can seem difficult.

Amidst all of this, practical life concerns - money worries, relationship difficulties, lack of sleep or even increases in housework, can make these feelings seem worse and overwhelming at times.

Here are some things you can do if you are experiencing some of these feelings:

• Be a “good enough” mother, not a Stepford Wife! Be kind to yourself while you adapt to being a mum. Becoming a mum happens overnight, but adapting to the role and finding yourself amongst it takes time.
• Get practical help to restore your emotional energy– get your mum to hang out your washing, outsource what you can (online grocery shopping anyone?)
• Talk about how YOU (not just the baby) are feeling – the good and the not-so-good. Seek emotional support from family and friends - they want to be useful and they care about your wellbeing.
• Don’t be afraid to visit your GP if these feelings are too strong, persistent or disabling.  Your feelings are common and there is so much help out there!

With love, from Flourishing Mothers

Support:
National Perinatal depression hotline 1300 726 306
www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/public/depression/inpregnancypostnatal

*Source: Gavin, N. I., Gaynes, B. N., Lohr, K. N., Meltzer-Brody, S., Gartlehner, G., & Swinson, T. (2005). Perinatal depression: a systematic review of prevalence and incidence. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 106(5, Part 1), 1071–1083.

**Source: Mollard, K. (2014) Qualitative Meta-Synthesis and Theory of Postpartum Depression. Issues in Mental Health Nursing, 35:656–663, 2014

"Getting into the zone" is for mums - not just athletes!

When was the last time you enjoyed doing something so much that you lost all sense of time and place? Were you writing a blog? Doing the sudoku? At a yoga class? Learning about something online? Positive psychologists call this sense of absorption a state of “flow”.  Athletes who “get into the zone” are seeking flow to enhance their performance.  We mothers can seek flow to help us flourish!

Positive Psychology suggests that engagement in our daily activities is one of the key factors contributing to our enjoyment of life and wellbeing. We get a sense of momentum, focus and purpose. We feel good about ourselves. We’ve enjoyed ourselves and this creates a positive cycle of emotions which benefits us, our children and everyone else around us!

The trick to finding flow is to find something that interests us and uses our strengths. It needs to be something which we can do in a relatively short space of time. It requires us to use our skill and should present some challenge.

For example, if you have a zest for life, you might choose to leave your baby in the crèche at your gym and rock a Zumba class. If you love to learn, you might read the National Geographic while feeding your baby. If you are creative, you could work up a collage of photos for a future family year-book. If you love the dynamic of working with others, you could help run the morning for your child’s playgroup.

Finding things we can get absorbed in, some of the time, helps provide an antidote to parts of our day that might be more mundane or quite frankly, boring! Saying that, even our mundane activities can be made more absorbing by doing them in a mindful way. By focusing on the current moment, the activity itself (not trying to multi-task), and batting away random thoughts, we can feel more engaged in what we are doing and get more satisfaction. Easier said than done, I know, but you might find something you can apply this to. I find I can be mindful while I hang out the washing and in fact, I quite enjoy it as “time out” from all that constant multi-tasking.

The important message is to give yourself permission to seek flow.  It’s important for you and has positive knock-on effects for those around you. Don’t feel guilty……the mantra for mums if ever I heard one. J

Best wishes from Flourishing Mothers

Adapted by Flourishing Mothers from the work of Martin Seligman and Mihály Csíkszentmihályi