"Getting into the zone" is for mums - not just athletes!

When was the last time you enjoyed doing something so much that you lost all sense of time and place? Were you writing a blog? Doing the sudoku? At a yoga class? Learning about something online? Positive psychologists call this sense of absorption a state of “flow”.  Athletes who “get into the zone” are seeking flow to enhance their performance.  We mothers can seek flow to help us flourish!

Positive Psychology suggests that engagement in our daily activities is one of the key factors contributing to our enjoyment of life and wellbeing. We get a sense of momentum, focus and purpose. We feel good about ourselves. We’ve enjoyed ourselves and this creates a positive cycle of emotions which benefits us, our children and everyone else around us!

The trick to finding flow is to find something that interests us and uses our strengths. It needs to be something which we can do in a relatively short space of time. It requires us to use our skill and should present some challenge.

For example, if you have a zest for life, you might choose to leave your baby in the crèche at your gym and rock a Zumba class. If you love to learn, you might read the National Geographic while feeding your baby. If you are creative, you could work up a collage of photos for a future family year-book. If you love the dynamic of working with others, you could help run the morning for your child’s playgroup.

Finding things we can get absorbed in, some of the time, helps provide an antidote to parts of our day that might be more mundane or quite frankly, boring! Saying that, even our mundane activities can be made more absorbing by doing them in a mindful way. By focusing on the current moment, the activity itself (not trying to multi-task), and batting away random thoughts, we can feel more engaged in what we are doing and get more satisfaction. Easier said than done, I know, but you might find something you can apply this to. I find I can be mindful while I hang out the washing and in fact, I quite enjoy it as “time out” from all that constant multi-tasking.

The important message is to give yourself permission to seek flow.  It’s important for you and has positive knock-on effects for those around you. Don’t feel guilty……the mantra for mums if ever I heard one. J

Best wishes from Flourishing Mothers

Adapted by Flourishing Mothers from the work of Martin Seligman and Mihály Csíkszentmihályi

Well-being is contagious!

I think you’ll probably agree with me that it’s very hard not to smile when your child giggles uncontrollably and sharing a funny story with a good friend usually leaves both of you feeling happy. 

We know in our hearts that sharing positive emotions is good for all concerned. Scientific research takes this idea a step further and suggests that the sense of well-being created by positive emotion can be contagious in communities.

Researchers in the UK tracked happiness levels in a community over a period of 20 years and found evidence of distinct clusters of individuals reporting high levels of positive emotions and overall well-being.  The researchers saw evidence that positive emotions are contagious, that they can be transmitted over social networks a bit like a virus (but with better outcomes). Further, that if a member of an individual’s family or a close friend reports being happy, that individual is statistically more likely to report higher levels of happiness.

In another study, research carried out by the Gallup organisation suggests that the well-being of employees is strongly influenced by their immediate supervisor’s level of well-being and that this relationship increased over time and appeared to be reciprocal.  It seems that an individual could be a positive influencer of the well-being of their entire team.

What is really encouraging in this for mothers is the idea that striving to improve our own well-being can actively assist our family and friends.  It can be hard to set aside time for yourself but I hope that the idea that your well-being can infect those around you might be an added motivation. 

In previous blogs we’ve suggested some strategies for increasing your well-being that you could take another look at, or please feel free to email or call us for some other ideas.

Best wishes

Flourishing Mothers

Adapted by Flourishing Mothers from the work of J.H. Fowler & N.A. Christakis and the Gallup Organisation.

Strengths for the New Year

• What did you enjoy doing most in 2014?
• What consistently gives you a sense of energy and satisfaction?
• How would you like to be in 2015?

I’m hoping that these questions will lead you to consider your personal strengths. The study of individual character strengths is a key element of Positive Psychology and without wanting to over simplify – it’s about making the most of what you’re good at which appeals strongly to me!

Using your strengths, particularly in a new way, has been demonstrated in many scientific studies to provide a lasting boost in well-being and life satisfaction.  For example?  You may be a naturally curious person who loves discovering new things – you could deliberately put this strength into use and take your family to explore a new destination or try a new activity during the holidays. 

Research in the workplace suggests that people who consciously use their strengths more perform better at work and are more likely to achieve their goals.  When trying to improve performance the greatest return has been shown to come from focusing on using and developing strengths rather than fighting to improve areas of weakness

Sometimes we instinctively recognise our strengths and the strengths of those around us but if you have time over the summer you might find it fascinating to take the free strengths survey developed by the VIA Institute. You can find it at www.viacharacter.org/www/The-Survey If after you take the survey you would like to discuss your results please give Flourishing Mothers a call.

As we jump into 2015, may we suggest an overarching resolution –whatever you’re doing – “Play to your Strengths” and encourage those closest to you to do the same.  Whatever you’re planning to do this year, extra energy and an increased sense of life satisfaction will give you a flying start!

Best wishes from Flourishing Mothers

Adapted by Flourishing Mothers from the work of Alex Linley, Reena Govindji, Robert Biswas-Diener and Martin Seligman.