Help! Can I really do it?

Did you ever climb trees as a kid, feeling excited about the view you’d have from the top?  Do you remember that feeling of being half way up and then suddenly being hit by doubts? You’ve been making great progress but suddenly you’re paralysed, and you feel like you can’t even find the next foothold…..

In that frozen moment of no confidence it’s hard to imagine getting to the top isn’t it?

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Our journey to finding work we love, work that fulfils us and fits in with our family, can be a really tough climb.  Moreover, it’s often very specific fears that cause our crisis of confidence.

Women we coach say things like:

  • I'm going to fumble in the first interview!
  • I'm too scared to ask for the hours and conditions that I want!
  • I'm struggling with all the technology!
  • Is it even possible to find a rewarding flexible job?

These are real fears getting in the way of your achievement.  To succeed we have to push through confidence obstacles.

How can we push through a crisis of confidence?

First of all – Re-ignite your motivation!  Remember WHY you started climbing

To fire up your desire for change you can remind yourself of the details of your dreams.  What exactly have you been striving for? Think about how dissatisfied you’ve been feeling with your current situation.  What are the specific issues you’ve been wanting to fix?

If you’ve already written down your goals this is a great time to review them (or put them into writing now!).  As you look at your goals, imagine that you’ve achieved them – you’ve made it! How would that feel?

I know why I want to make change but it’s so hard!

Consider your choices!

When you’re actually climbing a tree you don’t have a lot of options – it’s really just up or down.

But when we’re striving to change our careers we could also choose to just stop – to decide that it’s all too hard and stick with the status quo.

But think what you’d be missing out on!!

To keep going towards your goals, your mindset becomes central!  We need to believe that we’re capable of learning and making the most of opportunities.

What can you learn that will help you make progress?

When we believe that we can develop our skills it feels easier to take a risk and try something new.  We’re able to recognise that it’s our effort and our attitude that most influences our success.

Try to remember times in the past when you’ve learnt new skills and coped well with a challenge.  Try to recall when you’ve felt most confident in recent times – what were the key factors that helped you in each situation?  By noticing what works for us and doing more of it we can create a circle of growing self-belief and confidence.

And now it’s time for action!

We encourage you to make a plan and get excited about renewed progress!  Here are some questions to get you started:

  1. What’s the first thing you need to do?
  2. What can you do TODAY that will help make some progress – is there a phone call you’ve been putting off?  A LinkedIn profile to start writing?
  3. What resources are available to you?
  4. Who can you reach out to for help?

Please be assured that you’re not alone!  We all get stuck and doubt ourselves. If a chat about some of these ideas would help you right now you can book a free coaching chat with us

We’re in your corner and very much want to see you do work that you love!

Best wishes,

Kate and Deb

 

To work or not to work?............What are you really looking for?

Is it ever just a simple question for Mums?

Across the community, very few decisions are ever made in a complete vacuum, but the decisions that Mums make about how to structure their lives may be the most complex of all!  We tend to ponder at length how to meet the practical, financial, emotional and social needs of our families and ourselves and what role work will play. 

The risk is that your wellbeing suffers in trying to find the perfect solution.

Imagine this.....

You receive a phone call from an old workmate telling you about a great new position that’s been created at her company.  She’s even already told the Directors about you and they’re really interested to meet!

You’re probably pretty flattered and interested, but then the mental cogs start turning.......

  • Ok, I’ll have to work out the netball car pool again........
  • I wonder if leaving early on a Thursday would work......
  • I wasn’t really planning on changing anything till next year.....
  • But it sounds like a fantastic opportunity.........

Whether you’re currently working or not, the decision making process is inevitably going to have a lot of variables in addition to standard job search thoughts about the company, the location, the duties and the salary.

What are you really looking for?

Decisions are easier to make if you have a good grasp on what’s most important to you.  One area to consider when thinking about work, is the nature of your personal work orientation.  Research in this area of positive psychology has identified the three distinct work orientations of Job, Career or Calling. 

Are you looking for a Job? – You want to work mostly to fulfil practical needs.  These needs might be financial but could also be social.  You’re not overly passionate about work activities, and for the most part, your life outside of work is more important to you than your work.

Are you craving a Career? – You enjoy your work but are definitely thinking about the next step up the ladder or opportunity to take on more responsibilities. 

Are you hearing a Calling? – Your work gives you a lot of meaning and fits well with your values.  You feel a strong sense of pride in what you do and believe it makes the world a better place.  You want to spend as much time as possible on your work.

What description fits you best? 

The right thing at the right time!

Now here’s the thing – as a mum there’s no right or wrong work orientation!   But being able to identify what you want at a specific stage in your life can definitely help you make good decisions about opportunities that come up.  Feeling a sense of meaning boosts wellbeing but that meaning can come from various aspects of our lives at different times.

What do you think?  What are you looking for in work right now? Please leave a comment!

Best wishes,

Flourishing Mothers

Inspired and adapted from the work of Amy Wrzesniewski