Are you "living the dream"?

Have you ever imagined how your life would be if everything was perfect? ...Where you have a job you love, a fulfilled life and are looking forward to your bright future? What would you be doing? Where would you choose to put your energies? How would you live and where? Who would be in your life?

Big questions, we know! However, how can we “live the dream” unless we know what our dream looks like? ….You need to know what success and happiness at work and in your life means to you.

Now, we can’t predict the future, or anticipate random opportunities that come our way, or avoid life’s red herrings that send us on other tangents. And our dreams can and do change.

But having a vision of our “best possible life” gives us a reason to strive, and a direction in which to travel. Our vision can be clear. Or clear-ish. Or it can be fuzzy for now, becoming clearer over time. The main point is to be able to start aiming somewhere.

Having a vision of your “best possible life” will give you a reason to strive and a direction in which to travel

And not coincidentally, when we have a vision for our dream life, we’re “primed” to notice opportunities, and then take action, that will help lead us in the direction of our dreams. Our path becomes more smooth. We attract what we wish for. Things start to manifest for us.

So, how can you plot out what “living the dream” means for you? Here are 3 exercises you can try, to build a picture of your “best possible” life at home and work.

1. Skite sheet

Understanding what you love about your current work and life gives you clues for what you may wish to continue or do more of in future.

  • Note down the developments in your life that have given you the most joy (e.g. your kids? doing half marathons? your promotion?….)

  • Write about your passions. What makes your heart sing? (e.g. causes such as climate change? hobbies like rock climbing? innovating a new product? .…)

  • Think about what you could not do without in your life (e.g. your 20 minute commute? working in a team? your yoga class? .…)

  • Catalog the successes and achievements you’ve had at work to date. What work are you most proud of? What types of tasks or projects gave you a real buzz? What are you doing on your very best days at work?

2. Irritations inventory

Understanding what is currently frustrating you gives you an opportunity to avoid or circumvent these in your vision for your future. Knowing what you don’t want also helps you figure out what you do want.

Catalogue a list of irritations in your life and work right now. What do you not like about your work? What parts of your day make you frazzled? When do you feel out of control? What gives you a feeling of dread when you wake up each day?

3. Letter from the future

This is the ultimate tool for creating future positive possibilities.

  • Write down a free-flow letter to yourself, from yourself, at some future date - 1 year, 5 years, 10 or 20 years from now.

  • Describe what you've done and have achieved as a result of your life turning out exactly how you wanted.

  • What are you thinking, feeling and doing?

  • Describe the things that brought meaning and joy in your life or at work.

  • Don’t limit yourself to what’s likely or realistic - in this exercise, let your imagination run wild!

Once you’ve done these three exercises you start to make explicit (clear) what might have been implicit (less obvious or even unconscious) up to now. Getting clearer about the hopes and dreams you carry around inside you is a starting point to making plans for the future. From here, you can start to set some more concrete goals for yourself, with the confidence that you’re moving in the direction of your dreams.

We’re in your corner,

Debra & Kate

 
 
Live The Dream
 

Are you a dipper or a diver when you make plans? - Which is best?

I just spent a weekend away with my girlfriend who’s struggling with what so many working women wrestle with. The confidence to make change to do work she loves! She wants to try a new vocation but hasn’t done anything about it. Do you have any ideas, I ask? Yes, she smiles, and looks dreamy. What’s holding you back, my friend? I don’t know whether to trust my ideas or not, she says….how will I know?

The problem is she’s second guessing her ideas.  She knows she’s scared to dive straight into the deep unknown, but she’s losing ANY confidence to act!

In truth, her lack of confidence comes from two things.

  1. A lack of clarity about her values, priorities and deepest wishes for her life.
  2. She believes she needs to make big decisions right now.

I’m here to tell you my friend, the dive is indeed too scary. Just dip your toes in first, and feel the gentle current against your skin.

….dip your toes in first, and feel the gentle current against your skin

confidence to change mums coaching

Because, really, she just needs to figure out her very first step.  To do one thing. To just dip her toes in. This will help her feel if the current is taking her in the direction she wishes to travel, and to know that she can swim. For her, this might be getting some ideas out of her head and onto paper, starting to talk to people in the area she’s interested in, or doing some desktop research. Not so scary after all.

About confidence

From a confidence point of view, the best thing about taking smaller steps is that by breaking down your larger more intangible goal, you can start to see these as very possible to do. Once you think it’s doable, you imagine succeeding. You get a sudden boost of motivation and an urge to act. You take the next step towards your goal.

Scientifically proven - small acts boost your confidence:

  • They help you visualise what needs to happen and prime you to notice opportunities that move you towards your goal.
  • Smaller, (more tangible) goals are much more likely to be achieved.
  • The positive feelings of hope and optimism that come from succeeding enhance your problem-solving abilities, help you see more ways to achieve your goal, and give you the courage and motivation to keep going.

3 steps to dip your toes in

  1. Brainstorm OPTIONS. There are many pathways to your goal. What do you still need to know or find out?  This is a time to expand your options (not narrow them). That way, if one path reaches a dead end, all hope is not lost, you have other routes to follow.
  2. Write it down. Define the small steps you can take to make progress on each pathway. Your steps need to be “doable”! Then test them out.
  3. Celebrate. Acknowledging your small wins along the way will boost your self-belief and fuel your motivation to keep going.

I know my friend will take these steps and enjoy the journey. And, she doesn’t have to do this alone! She can tell someone what she’s working on, so they can follow her up. She can have coffee with people who can answer her questions. She can go to a professional and hire a coach!

As her goal of a career change takes shape, piece by piece she’ll feel more excited and confident. We wish this for you too!

Best wishes

Flourishing Mothers