As we head into the end of year festivities, I’ll probably be rummaging in my wardrobe a lot – looking for the dress or the heels that will suit the event and make me feel great. I know it’s not all about clothes but a great pair of heels sometimes just give an extra sparkle of fun and confidence (and I love being a bit taller!).
However, a pair of gorgeous shoes can’t help with all of life’s challenges. When challenging times hit us, or the day to day ups and downs are feeling hard to cope with, we need resilience, we need to believe that we have what it takes to bounce back and perform well despite the stress.
We need to be able to show up and face the challenges as our best resilient self!
Who are you at the times when you show most resilience?
A resilient person is able to work through challenges, drawing upon our inner resources, our strengths, our sense of optimism and our self-belief that we can cope (hard as it sometimes seems!) However, we each have a different set of challenges, and individual strengths and capacities that we can use.
So, what kind of person do you want to be when your resilience is tested?
4 Steps to envision your best resilient self
Just like travelling to a new location, to make successful change, you need to know what you are aiming for so that you can work out a plan to get there. It’s also fascinating how strong the power of imagery can be. Once you’re able to see a clear picture in your head, you’ll automatically start to move towards it because you’ll be primed to notice when you have an opportunity to do something relevant or make a good choice. What we focus on grows!
We suggest you consider these questions to build a vision of your best resilient self.
What are you doing? How do you want to behave when faced with a challenge? Are you:
- Taking a deep breath before responding?
- Calmly making a to-do list?
- Willing to ask for help?
What are you thinking? What’s the story you’re telling yourself? Are you:
- Noticing negative thoughts and trying to replace them with more positive ones?
- Reminding yourself of what you’re capable of, and have managed in the past?
What are feeling? It’s normal to have an initial negative emotional response but what happens next? Are you?
- Noticing the negative emotions but trying not to be swept away by them?
- Trying to re-frame your emotions – for example could you become excited about a new opportunity rather than dwelling on how it makes you nervous?
- Accepting that you are human and strong emotions are normal?
Where can you find support? In tough times support from others and our environment is critical. Are you?
- Recognising how others value you and believe in you?
- Looking after yourself physically?
- Letting people help you in practical ways?
Just as we can choose to make a statement with a pair of shoes, we can also choose to show up as our Best Resilient Self
We encourage you to give these ideas some thought. We’d love to see you finish 2017 confident you know how to dial up your best resilient self. If you’d like some help brainstorming, please contact us for a free coaching chat http://www.flourishingmothers.com.au/free-coaching-chat now, or put it in your diary to contact us early in the New Year.
with our best wishes