How to indulge - without the hangover!

When I look at my calendar and inbox it feels full of plans for drinks gatherings, bbq catch ups, family parties and even a recipe from my aunt for fabulous chocolate truffles! A whole lot of delicious decadence and fun.

But I’m a bit nervous about the hangovers!

I’ll probably risk indulging with delight in the great food and drink. I definitely can’t wait to make the chocolate truffles. However, at the same time I also want to plan some healthy indulgence.

I’m keen to boost my positive emotions and positive relationships without nasty side effects!

How can we indulge AND increase our flourishing?

Indulgences to help us flourish

1. Indulge in movement

The research is in and well accepted, there’s no argument that movement is good for us physically and mentally – but often it’s the first thing we lose track of when we’re busy. Ironically this is probably when we might most benefit so could it help to plan for it and think of it as an indulgence?

How might you indulge? Could you?

  • Book a walk into your diary (if it feels good make it a recurring date!)

  • When no-one’s watching turn up your favourite music and dance (or tap your foot and sway if you’re really not a dancer!)

  • Trial the exercise class you’ve been thinking about or test out the benefit of a few yoga stretches before bed

2. Indulge in nature.

The benefits of being in a natural environment or even simply looking at some beautiful pictures of natural areas is also really well researched. It’s been shown to reduce feelings of stress, fear and anxiety and increase positive emotions such as awe, gratitude and meaning.

How might you indulge? Could you:

  • Plan to watch the sunset one night this week

  • Find a flower and spend a few moments quietly enjoying the colour and the scent

  • Find some incredible nature photos online

3. Indulge in time for you

For many of us this probably feels like the ultimate indulgence! However the science of self compassion tells us that when we look after ourselves and occasionally put our own needs first, the benefits are enormous. Simply giving yourself permission to indulge, taking a guilt free break from your to do list, will give you a burst of energy and positive emotion. It might even help you accomplish more later on.

How might you indulge? Could you:

  • Go to see that film you’ve been longing to see – or if it’s left the cinemas, download it and indulge

  • Call the friend who you love love love chatting to but just haven’t had time to catch up with for months

  • Take a 20 minute nap

  • Make a coffee date with yourself and a good book

Time for a treat!

Whatever speaks to you we encourage you to give it a try! You work hard and deserve a little healthy indulgence!

We’re in your corner

Kate & Debra

indulge without  hangover



The Busy Trap - What's really behind your ToDo list, and how to take back control

Have you bumped into a friend at the supermarket and had the following conversation?

You: Hi! How are you?

Friend: I’m insanely busy! You?

You: I’m crazy busy too!

You wouldn't be alone! A strange cultural phenomenon has led us to wear “busyness” as a badge of honor. This also extends to our kids - they’re often scheduled to within an inch of their lives outside of school with extracurricular activities.

Busy.jpg

Somehow we’ve normalized — and even praise our busyness. But are we really doing ourselves any favours? The truth is, our insistence on staying busy can have damaging effects on our mental well-being: more stress, exhaustion, burnout, and an inability to focus on the present. And our kids come home at the end of the day as tired and stressed as we do.

So, what’s the deal with being busy? Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Here are a couple of home truths to ponder:

We spend a lot of time doing things we should do, or that society expects of us, or that everyone else is doing. Our houses should be spotless, we’re expected to have manicured toes and no greys in our hair, everyone else is sending their child to extra sport/music/drama/tutoring! No wonder we get a sense of overwhelm from all the things we do, compared to the far smaller quantity of things we’re actually capable of doing with the time available.

And perhaps deep down, a lot of us are using busyness as a way to hide from ourselves. Who would we be if we weren't busy accomplishing stuff? What truths about ourselves or our lives would we have to face that we can avoid facing when we’re crazy busy? Are we reassuring ourselves about our worth by making a link between being busy and being important and valuable?

We recommend coming out behind your “ToDo list” and taking back control of your life.

Here’s how:

  1. Ditch the “shoulds” and do the “want to’s.” Prioritise your ToDo list by the most valued tasks. Anything that’s not truly important to you personally, delegate to someone else, or just ditch it! What events have you committed to over the next month? Which of these are less meaningful, or events you feel you should go to (but don’t really want to)? Find a way to graciously relieve yourself of these commitments.

    When we pursue goals that we want to do, because they’re important to us, we have a recipe for high levels of wellbeing.

  2. Reframe success. Turn your “ToDo” list into a “TaDa!” list. Instead of being overwhelmed with everything you haven’t ticked off your list, at the end of each day write down what you have achieved. Then sing “TaDa!” and do a happy dance.

  3. Detox from your busyness addiction. When we’re on the urgency treadmill, it can feel excruciating to slow down – but you may end up getting more done if you try. Experiment with doing nothing at all for 10 minutes between tasks: the harder that feels, the more you may need it!

  4. Be the change. Reverse the cultural narrative around the pride of busyness. Resist the urge to compete with the “busy bees” or engage in one-upmanship. Your schedule does not make you important.

The truth is our busyness is self-imposed. It's in our control because of the choices we make. Instead, we encourage you to enjoy what’s important, be present with your loved ones and savour the moments.

We’re in your corner,

Debra and Kate

8 habits to make confidence a way of life

When do you feel at your most confident?

For me, I would love to bottle the energy, optimism and self-belief I have after an early morning boxing class, to help me work towards my goals every day.

Dial up a burst of confidence

Thinking back on the past week; bring to mind a moment when you felt great about yourself.

Take a moment to reflect on it:

  • Did you feel full of energy and optimism?

  • Did you feel a strong belief in your own abilities?

  • Did you feel well supported by people around you?

  • Did you feel ready to cope with setbacks that might occur?

Imagine if you could feel like that all the time?

Imagine how it might help you progress towards your goals and deal with challenges and potential setbacks!

We know you want to be confident and move towards your dreams

When reality bites

We all want to make steady progress towards our life goals. But the reality is that it’s hard to build consistent self-belief, to make confidence a way of life. Luckily, like physical fitness, we can develop confidence bit by bit.

Here are eight habits you can develop to build your confidence and maintain your belief in yourself.

You might like to pick one or two to focus on at a time or choose what’s most needed each week.

Confidence Habits

  1. Notice what’s working for you! We need to learn to pay attention to the positives. It’s so easy to be critical of what we feel we haven’t done well that we often don’t pay attention to our awesomeness!
    On a regular basis - quickly run your mind over the last day or so and look for examples of things you’ve done really well.

  2. Do more of what’s working - once you get into the habit of appreciating your achievements you can be on the lookout for opportunities to repeat them, and repeat them………….

  3. Mentally rehearse what you need to do before you actually have to do it. Visualising the process AND the desired outcome helps us to believe things are possible and gives us a boost of confidence to carry out the steps needed.

  4. Build your support networks. Try to surround yourself with people who will cheer you on, people who believe you can do it. Also look for role models who will inspire you and provide new ideas.

  5. Keep your eyes on the prize - if you’re feeling overwhelmed, go back to your goals and values. Remind yourself of WHAT you’re trying to achieve and WHY.

  6. Keep calm and carry on! There will be weeks when it’s almost laughable how many things go a bit wrong. Sometimes we need to flex our self-regulation muscles and just keep on going.

  7. Nurture yourself! Sleep, diet and exercise all play a role in priming us for confidence and achievement. Exercise allows us to feel a sense of mastery and achievement at what our body can do, whilst sleep and diet play a key role in our energy levels.

  8. Seek out positive emotions for a mood boost to drive positive action - look for moments of amusement, joy, love, inspiration, gratitude and serenity.

make confidence a way of life

So are you ready?

We know it takes a lot of effort to maintain self-belief and strive for your goals so please let us know if you need some more resources and support.

We’re in your corner,

Debra and Kate